Mind blowing, heart wrenching nonsense!

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  Her doctor is nowhere to be found and she’s worried. Did I make sense? I’m not sure. But what I know is, she’s way devastated and she doesn’t know what to do. She keeps on asking me if she’s doing the right thing by calling and texting him endlessly. But I know no matter what I say, she would still do what she feels and thinks is right.

 

She’s way too stubborn and she’s in love. She’s in love with her doctor and later on she found out that he feels the same way. But the doctor has to leave for the province because he has to take care of his father. So, the long distance relationship ensues. 

 

A week of blissful phone calls and sweet text messages flooded her daily existence. He was her first boyfriend and she was euphoric. True, she fell in love before, but there was a big difference. It was unrequited. This time, their feelings were mutual. She related to me the whole story in details. I was awed and I was happy for her.

 

We constantly call each other so that we could tell each other the way we feel that day or what happened to our boyfriends and all other things that girls talk about. But lately, she was again in the state of depression. Gone are the days when I could hear the laughter in her voice. When I can see the smile in her eyes and her euphoria that seems to pass to me when my anime eyes and me are having trouble.

 

She told me three days ago that before his doctor became unreachable, they were really happy and were whispering sweet nothings in each other ears (of course through the phone). But now, no matter how many times she called and how many text messages she sent, her doctor doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even answer his cell phone.

 

She’s trying hard no to cry but she can’t. Even if we only talk through text messaging, I could feel her pain. I could feel the strain and the emotion she’s trying to hide through the shortened words and sentences. She no longer laughs like she used. She even told me that maybe, she was meant to be single all her life.

 

What could I do? What can I say? I can relate to all the things she’s feeling and undergoing since there also was a time when my anime eyes went missing for a week,  but then, he would come back. Actually, I am sometimes afraid that he won’t comeback and live in the past that continues to haunt him through these days.

 

Enough about me. I want to help my friend but I don’t know how else too. I’ve tried the good old talking and it got me nowhere. I told her to just let him go. To let him know her worth. To not call or text him anymore. But she told me she can’t. She needs answer. And sometimes I have the urge to knock her head down, just so to help her snap out of it. I guess I have to let her realize that on her own. She should move on and forget about him. I hope she does…soon

 

Posted by: vanessa at 09:31 | link | comments (7)

My cousin went berserk. It's a good thing that he can control his actions or we would have never made it back in Manila. Last Holy Tuesday, my cousin, Nhold just loaded his phone P300 worth of calls and text messages. Since he only texts his girlfriend and some friends important matters, it could last for more than a month (he's thrifty I tell you). But the unthinkable happened, well seemingly unthinkable, but it is really possible.

Before I digress again, this is what happened. Someone accidentally e-loaded P30 to his account, and in three days, he should use his P300 or it would vanish into thin air. We were trying hard not to laugh at his misfortune, but we cant't help it. We found it funny, but he didn't. My cousin has a good sense of humor, he can make almost everybody laugh. But he could also have his moods. And when he has it, even my mother and my older cousin who took care of us, and in charge of almost everything wouldn't dare cross him. And that night, he lapsed in that mood. 

He snapped at me when I repeated my mother's request. And I snapped back. I mean we were both tired and my mother was angry at my sisters, but since I'm the one who's there, she's taking it out on me. It made me lose my cool. Chain reaction huh? Before I forgot, this is after our trip to Matabungkay and he is the driving the PUJ.

Anyway, he tried to call the one who made the mistake since that one texted him and asked him to be his textmate. When he told him that he did more harm than good, the guy or girl told him that may be it would be better if he passed some of his load to him. That made my cousin angrier. To the point of hurling profanities to the "dumb faceless guy/girl".

By the way, they have the same last seven digit number. The only difference is the fourth number. My cousin has 9 the other one 8.

I tried it with my own number and I contacted someone from Cotabato. I just told him that I don't want textmates and I just want to warn him to be careful because I don't want to happen to me the same thing that happened to my cousin. It happened to him twice already. Tough luck.

Last night, the same thing happened to my sister. This time they have the same numbers, only the last two are switched. My sister's last two digits are 54 while this someone has 45. Good thing that my sister doesn't have a remaining balance, because that someone loaded P115 and it goes to my sister's account. Hahaha!

She texted my sister asking for a P15 pasaload. Which my sister gladly complied. She even offered to pass all of 115 to that moron. But she/he would have to use it all in one day. I'm sure by the time he's done, his fingers would have been swollen. Good for him. or for her. or whoever.

                                                                                       ****

Looks like my bestfriend knows who charmed shaman after all is. Yet, she decided not to talk. Total silence. I was hoping she would talk to me. I missed her. Really. I don't want to be so dramatic, but I want her back. I want my bestfreind back. I know she changed and all. but I still consider her as one of the greatest friends I have found. The question is, does she want me back too? Looks like I will need more than luck.

 

 

     

                  

               

 

Posted by: vanessa at 05:37 | link | comments (5)

I saw a friend's blog and I was blown away by her entry. Apparently, she found out that I linked her blog to mine and I'm not sure if she took it well. I mean I'm sure she's amuse at the other entry which said that the other blog is better than hers. Yet, I still think she's annoyed that someone she doesn't know invaded her privacy. 

Technically, we don't know each other anymore but since we grew up together, I think it would have been nice if she remembered our promise to each other. That' we'll remian friends,we will stay together and won't leave each other, blahblah blah. I was hurt but i guess I don't have a choice about it.

This doesn't make sense I kjow, but i have to let it out.

So there!

Posted by: vanessa at 13:32 | link | comments

I was almost hold-upped (is this the right word?) or worse raped and killed. I can feel my heart beating fast while my pulse race and my body quivering. Not because I'm cold, mind you, but because I was scared. I can defend myself all right but not when there were four of them waiting for me to do the wrong move.

It was 10 pm and we just finished our May issue. Lucky thing my editor volunteered to bring me to a place where I can find a cab or a jeepney for my ride home. They were asking me if I want to go down near the MRT station or Hi-top. I opted for HI-Top since it was nearer and I don’t want o be a disturbance.

My mistake. The moment that I went down from her car, I already saw two guys stalking me. I was paranoid about those things. I can sense if people are planning to do something evil about me, and I know when they don’t. This time, my sixth sense smelled trouble and without my quick thinking I wouldn’t have been here, writing the tale.

 Since I don’t want to look like the child who cried wolf, when there’s nothing real to worry about, I did a couple of slow walks and they did too. I walked faster and they did too. By this time, I’m already thinking what am I going to do to escape from them or to distract them. I’m looking for an escape route while nonchalantly walking on the other side trying to get to the guard with the gun unharmed. 

When I get there, I stood near the guard’s post and waited there looking around pretending that I was waiting for my parents when in fact they have no idea that I am fighting with my wit’s end and hoping against hope that some kind of miracle will save me from these men. (Yeah, I perceive them as the devils).

I was sure that they are targeting me because they also didn’t leave their post. They stood near me. After less than two seconds, two guys talked to them. I realized that now, there were four of them waiting for me in the dark alley. (Though come to think of it, it wasn’t really a dark alley but wide streets with no lights on them.).  Seemingly unafraid and so sure that I’ll have to cross the street and they’ll have thin wallet and out of date cell phone. But no,  I stood firm the guard’s station deciding that if they didn’t leave me alone, I’ll call home (because my bf was unavailable at that time) and ask them to fetch me there. I would not let the guard leave me alone with the bad guys. I didn’t even dare run because I know that they’ll corner me in a matter of minutes.

After five minutes of looking at them. I’m showing them that I’m aware of their plans, I guess they don’t want to leave me because I might take another route, and their victim would fled to safety, that would leave them with nothing.

God is really good. Because all these time my editor was watching me and she came back and called me to go back inside the car and we went to another route. I don’t know what would have happened to me if she left immediately. I was glad that my editor was more paranoid than me.

I was still shivering when I got home. My siblings told me that I have the look of someone who has seen a ghost. My mother, the ever logical one tried to console by saying that maybe I was wrong. Maybe they just found me cute. That only made me feel worse. I mean, if they want my measly money and my old cell phone, they can have it. But they can’t have me. I have this notion that I’d rather die than be violated and lived to tell the tale. Morbid I know, but what can I do?

Until now, I’m still worried. Sometimes I would lie awake and think what would have happened if I don’t have someone with me then. I shudder at the thought. But I’m thankful and I felt that I was so blessed not to experience that kind of ordeal.  I know that there’s really a God.

******

On a more positive note, last night I‘ve had fun. As you know, it’s election time and my mother was asked by a candidate to help him during the campaign period. The money she got wasn’t worth her time and effort but since she and one of our baranggay councilors is her good friend, she did it anyway.

Last night, the councilor did his proclamation rally near our house, since my mother asked us, we watched it although we were bored at first. I’d rather talk to my anime eyes on the telephone , though he did something important so he slept early that night.

My interest perked up when an upcoming boy band performed. I found one with the long hair cute but the one that smiled at me while they were singing was the  other guy. His cute too, clean cut and mestizo looking. He knows how to sing. but as usual, I found my anime eyes more appealing. 

When they asked for girls to come up on the stage, my cousins were coaxing to go there, since they can see the guy flirting with me. I didn’t. I just satisfy myself listening to their music. And the flirting continues. (I know I shouldn’t have, but I can’t help it. I just want to know if my charms still work, hehehe!)

After their set, they have to pass to our area. The guy who looked a little like Vanness Wu waved good bye to us and I waved back, but my cousins and my siblings called the one who was flirting with me while he was singing, His name is JP and he walked to us.

He gave us his name again and shook hands with me, with me alone. Then the people around us where shouting kiss!  And I just smiled and shook my head slightly. I was not sure if It’s just me but he didn’t let go of m y hand immediately and he was holding all along. So just he could just go to his next destination, he leaned on my way and put my cheeks next to his. (Some people knew me because I was suppose to run for the SK elections but it didn’t push through.)

My brothers were telling me that they would tell my anime eyes about it. But I just laugh. I don’t think he would mind. They were celebrities and I have no interest in hooking up with people who are going to be famous, or who are already famous. I don’t think it would work anyway. One more thing, it’s just one show. It’s not like we would see each other again.

Besides I’m happy with my anime eyes. So happy.

Posted by: vanessa at 11:34 | link | comments (4)

I proved myself wrong. I was afraid of nothing. I guess my speech went okay. I just hope that they learned something from me. I was thinking of posting my speech here, but I chose not too. I should have done it days before to ask for your opinion. BUt the event is over so there's no use to pursue my plans.

That is not the first time that I went to my school after graduation, I went back a couple of times before but I havn't got the chance to talk to my former teachers. It's nice to see them again, except that the teacher who became my friend is already in Dubai. Recovering from an illness that she had a year ago.

I'm really glad that I decided to go. In fact, I was thinking of cancelling the last minute but I think it would be rude. I guess what I'm really afraid of is going back in my school and seeing the people who gave me the endless assignments and exams. I was afraid that I will feel like a high school student again. I'm thinking that I'll be uncomfortable there because I can't ask anyone to accompany me (well, they were all busy). But I still felt at home. Of course they changed the principal and there are so many new teachers that  I don't really know personally but they treated me well. 

I also remember this teacher who made me cry in the last days of my high school life and said that I'm rude and I won't be successful enough. She said it in front of her class (not my classmates though, she's not even my teacher I just needed her to sign my clearance) imagine the embarassment I've gone through. (My mother talked to her after that and she was embarassed in return, but not in front of her students, so I guess my mother has more manners)) Actually, after my graduation, she even asked my younger sister if I'm still studying and where. Guess it hit her hard that after six years of wishing me harm, I still made it okay (of course I'm just assuming).

My former teacher were happy to see me, they thought I was successful becauase I'm working in one of the biggest companies in the Philippines. I was quick to dispel it but they don't believe me. I was also happy to hear that they thought that I was the same student they've had. Smart and humble. They said I haven't changed, and that's a good thing. I guess, it added points to my dwindling confidence.

I was hoping to see former classmates who are invited to the same event. But I'm the only one who made it. I was a little disappointed but it still worth the trouble. So if they ask me again, I'll think I'll gladly obliged.

Posted by: vanessa at 11:07 | link | comments (3)