I’ve been working for the same company for almost two years now. Well, one year and seven months to be exact. Over the course of this time, I have collected a few desk buddies. Three of them I bought, four of them I asked for and one was given to me by a friend who resigned from her post this January.
And now, without further ado, here they are:
Let’s start with Piggy in a cup. She’s a birthday gift from a dear friend in my current school (I’m taking Masteral classes). She comes with a Bench shirt. I love this cutie. The cup was given by one of my closest friends in college.
This is Nelly, a snail that looks like a dog or a mouse. I don’t know. Everytime my officemates saw him, he evolves.
Then, here’s Straw. She’s an orange. But I call her Straw because it would be redundant to call her Orange. She’s too orangy already. I bought Nelly and Straw in the Ukay in Baguio.
Yuvi, my lovely dog. I took this dog from my friend’s desk as a joke. But I decided to keep it as she was resigning. She hesitantly agreed claiming that Yuvi would be her Christmas gift to me.
T1 and T2. Yeah, yeah. I lacked the originality here. I called them T1 and T2 because they are both tarsiers. I asked for them. Nobody wants them anymore and I took pity. Really.
And finally, meet Mothra. I got her from Lyn. Lyn also owned Yuvi. But this one was given to me. She just puts it on my desk. I was meaning to ask for it. But nahiya na ako. Hehehe..
So there, when I get bored, I play with these things. Kind of remind me when I was a kid.
Oh don’t forget my stressballs, the brown Calpol ball with Mothra and the green smiley with Yuvi..They give me relief.
Windangerz
February is supposed to be my fave month, as I celebrate my birthday this month. But no, it just so happened that I have a weekly deadline until the month ends…I’m stressed. You see, it’s not the usual long reports and new products deadlines that are hounding me. I’ve got reports for my two masteral subjects (Feb 2 and Feb 23); and deadline for my editor (revise the workflow for NPs, Feb 15; and organize immersion activities for our team (Feb 29). Oh not to mention the deadline for a writeup I’m doing for a friend (Feb 9).
Mercifully, I don’t have a deadline yet on Feb 16..Hopefully, nothing will come up…Please help me pray for it..Pretty please?
And oh, will you help in praying for my reports? I’m really not that confident about them…I’m kind of tired right now…
Haaay, I need a break..See even my entry is windang…
Maldita moment
I usually get my way. Okay, almost everything I want. Blame the stubborn streak in me. Sometimes, I’m wondering how long would my hubby be able to hold on to his patience. Oh, he’s not perfect. There were also those moments that he pushed me to the edge. He’s as hard-heaaded as I am. I wouldn’t have liked him, or love him even, if he’s not.
Well, I’m not gonna talk about him in this entry. My siblings might be reading this..hehe..so, my maldita moment would be the topic. I’m going to tell the story of us, when I have the time to write about it. Because for me, it is special…I’m digressing, here’s the little story.
I’m a confessed Charmed addict. So, when our plan (with my officemate) to go on an Ukay trip got cancelled, I decided that the money that I was saving would go to Charmed DVD, instead. I’ve been dying to get a complete copy.
On the day that I got the money, I met my hubby in Cubao (our usual meeting place, you see) and asked him if we could go to Quiapo to buy the DVD. He was hesitant at first, saying that it might rain and I’ll get wet since our transpo is just a motorcycle. I was disappointed. In retaliation, I didn’t talked to him while we were on the road. (I know this gets to him, the cold shoulders...hahaha!)
When we get to our place, I immediately took my bag and said goodbye. Then he asked me:
Hubby: Anong problema? (What’s the problem?)
Me: Gusto ko ng bumili ng Charmed DVD ngayon (I want to buy my Charmed DVD, now)…
Hubby: Pa-ulan na, mababasa ka, tapos baka magkasakit ka pa..(It’s about to rain, you will get wet and you might get sick)
Me: Wala akong paki! Patg di mo ko sinamaham, pupunta akong mag-isa! (I don’t care. If you don’t accompany me, I’ll go there alone)
Hubby: Bukas na lang tayo pumunta, please? (Can we go tomorrow, instead, please?
Me: Ayoko. Pag hindi tayo pumunta ngayon, wag mo na lang ako samahan kahit kelan.(No. If we don’t go there now, don’taccompany me anywhere)
Hubby: (with a long sigh) Tara na. (Let’s go)
And I smiled and get on the motorcycle, and off we went to Quiapo…It took a while for me to get in a good mood. Until I got the copy with me…that is…
Secret Unsealed
Since Pag-Ibig Fund has spilled my secret to my family…I have to say this…I’m married! Has been for the last eight months. It was a secret marriage, because my family doesn’t know. But some people do. We have witnesses you know. I may not be able to tell it here.
I’m just so sorry that I broke my mother’s heart in the process. Actually my whole family’s heart. I just hope they forgive me.
And oh, a very, very sad news: A dear classmate died a few weeks ago. I can’t believe that it could happen to someone so young, and nice. We’re not that close. But I would like to believe that even in the shallowest sense, we’re friends. More like my second family in college. It created a rift between me, and a classmate. I just hope that everything would still turn out right.
To Ace, may you be happy with God now. Blessed be!
Random thoughts. Or not…
(I should have posted this a long time ago...This doesn't apply anymore, but I believe I've fallen for the right guy this time, but I'm not yet ready to share our story 
)
That’s what they say when you’re thinking of different things at different times. Gee. I don’t even know what I was supposed to be writing about. Or supposed to be thinking about for that matter.
I’m not trying to be profound or anything. I’m far from that. What I’m trying to achieve is, to clear my head and hope that some of the questions that’s been haunting my existence could be answered.
This comes to mind the text message I received from a dear friend a few weeks back. Something about science being able answer most of the question. Except, why can’t a gravity make a guy, or a girl, fall for you? Or me?
I smiled when I read the message. Thinking, oh, yes, why can’t it? But then, again why should gravity make him or her fall for you, when, as most of us has debated, time and again, that feelings can’t be measured, by mathematical equation or scientific formula? We can all formulate theories, all we want, but nothing will come out as a satisfying answer.
Am I being bitter? I don’t think so. Do all of these come from a recent heartbreaking experience? Yes, I know so. But I’m not going to go into details. Most of you would have said that I should have asked for advise to columnists, from Joe D’ Mango, to Dr. Margie Holmes. I have nothing against them, really.
Going back to the falling theory. And I’m talking about falling in love here, not falling off from a building, or falling off a tree. Though come to think off it, many a suicidal lovers resort to these things when they can’t carry the hurt and pains to themselves. Guys, that’s where your friends come in.
So, here are some forms of falling:
Falling in love, hard. For a guy, who has been your friends for six years, is not easy. Especially if it has been unrequited for the most parts. And you go to the lengths of telling him how you felt. And he told you that he only thought of you as his friend. And you decided to stay friends, so that you’ll still be a part of him. And will be able to love him. But you know, deep inside, that you’re just hoping, that someday…in the immediate future, he’ll know that it’s you he was to meant to be with.
Then, there’s falling for your best friend’s guy, or girl. Because your bestfriend is way too busy. And you two became close. Not wanting to hurt the bestfriend, you stayed out of each other ways, and pretended that you’re just infatuated, and it will pass. Pass my ___. It may, or may not. But if you keep it within yourself, it will bound to explode and would just hurt the three of you. So, why not spare your feelings, and let bestfriend get hurt? Or may be, not. Just the evil me talking.
Let’s go back to example number one. Just when you thought you have gotten on your life. Friend will come back and get sweety on you. The spark of hope will again ignite and before you know it, you’re clinging to him. Answering to all his woes, okay, some of his woes. Pretending to be a girlfriend when you’re not. But, lucky you, he just disappeared and you don’t know what happened. You’ve done everything to contact him. Short of begging, you talk to him, but still no reply. He just can’t be found. Angry, you sent him a goodbye letter, and deleted him from your friendster list. And he changed his setting wherein only his close friends can view his full profile. Ouch! That’s like falling off from a six-floor building, with your brains busted out. And it’s not all, there was an ongoing stampede, and your body has been stepped on, kicked and at the bottom of piles and piles of corpses.
Then, there’s falling for a complete stranger. It’s not easy to imagine. I’ve known of people who fell for someone they’ve only met once. Or they haven’t even seen. I was guilty of that.
It’s just so sad and frustrating that it didn’t worked out the way I planned.
But then, again, how can you expect that someone to fall for you, if you don’t know love yourself as much? It’s an age-old wisdom that I’ve been thinking about. Of course, I’ve also experienced some of this. Worst, if I may add. But one thing I’ve learned, is that, and what I’m trying to do, is love yourself, and they will follow. But not to the extent of being narcissistic.
Besides, keep in mind, that if they didn’t fall for you, it’s their loss.
Now, let me think about dreams…random dreams
Misadventures in MRT
I try to get to MRT before 630am, so as to avoid the influx of people, who are much too aggressive for me during the morning rush. But it seems that my fate was sealed that particular morning.
I was on my usual spot in the first carriage of the train every morning. Because it was past 630am, there’s no seat left for me, and I contented myself with standing by the pole. I looked up and found out that there’s no strap left for me, so I hold on the pole, but careful not to put my whole weight on it, so that other passengers can also hold on it.
Then, my day got interesting when an older lady, put her weight on the pole that I was holding, crushing my hand. That’s not all; she positioned her self in a way that she’s also holding another strap.
I didn’t say anything at first, but it’s as if she’s the queen and she doesn’t feel my hand at her back. Since I don’t want to make a scene, I gently moved my hand to let her know, that my hand is there. But no, it’s as if she didn’t feel anything. So the whole ride from Quezon Ave to Kamuning, I was gently moving my hand.
Then, she flared up when we were nearing Kamuning station. She twisted her neck, looked at the vertical pole, then looked at me and shouted (the ones in pink are mine, the ones in green are her dialogue):
“Ang bastos mo! Kanina ka pa pagsakay ko pa lang!” (You’re so rude! You’ve been doing it since I got in).
(Me, in a very calm voice) “Ano pong problema? (What’s the problem?)
Nakita mo ng nakasandal ako, ginagalaw mo iyung kamay mo sa likod ko, iyan ba ang itinuro sa iyo ng magulang mo? Bastos ka! (Can’t you see me? You’ve been moving your hand on my back! Is that what your parents taught you? You’re so rude!)
“Hindi ho iyan sandalan, hawakan lang” (You shouldn’t put your whole body against it, you can only hold on it)
Bastos ka, bastos din ang mga magulang mo!” (You’re rude!) You’re parents are rude, too)
“Teka ho, hindi nyo ho ba nakita? Nauna akong dumating sa iyo. At isa pa, hindi nyo ba nararamdaman ang kamay ko?” (Didn’t you see? I was the one who arrived first. Can’t you feel my hand?)
“Hindi mo ba pwede itaas iyung kamay mo? Kung ayaw mong maipit umalis ka! Doon ka!”
“Bakit ko ho itataas? Pwede naman ka-level ko lang? Bakit sa inyo ho ba itong MRT? O kahit iyung pole na lang?” (Why should I put my hand on top of your head? I arrived first, IS this train yours? Or even this pole?)
“OO!” (YES!)
“May katunayan ho ba kayo, kung meron, bababa ako sa susunod na istasyon, kung wala, kayo ho ang baba” (Do you have a proof, coz if you do have a proof, I’ll leave on the next station, but if you don’t, you’ll have to leave)
“Bastos ka! Wala rin modo ang mga magulang mo.” (You’re so rude, you’re parents are as rude as you!
“Teka lang ho, nakikita nyo ho ba sila dito? Wag nyo ho silang idamay. Saka sino ba ang mas bastos na nakasandal sa pole, na wala nang ibang makahawak?” (Wait, can you see my parents here? Please don’t mention their names. Besides who’s putting her whole weight on that pole that no other people can hold it?
“Ah basta, bastos ka.” (You’re rude!)
“Oh come on, who’s hogging the pole that no other people can hold it? And who’s crushing my hand?”
“Ah ikaw! Ikaw! (You! You!)
“Haha! Whatever!
Then, she turned her back on me. It’s a good thing that the girl next to me left and I grabbed the strap she was holding.
I know that what happened was partly my fault. I could have moved my hand. But I’m tired of being step on, because they are older or because I look meek. I didn’t shout as loud as she did. She scandalized herself, anyway. Besides, I tried to be respectful, I was saying ho and oho the whole time, albeit sarcastically.
I was even surprised at the way I was able to handle it calmly. It wasn’t the first time that it happened. But it was one of the few times that I was able to handle something like that with grace, I think.
Proud to be a Thomasian!
We won…76-74, at least we proved that even if it’s a close fight, UST is again, a formidable foe.
Roselle and I and were both in her van yesterday afternoon, awaiting the text from her special someone. I was hurrying home yesterday, because of the do-or-die fight between UST and Ateneo for UAAP’s men basketball tournament, but I wasn't able to get home early, due to a meeting.
Man, they really rose to the challenge. Come on, Ateneo is the “it” team of the moment. In the end, it was a matter who has the stronger faith. As I told my friend, UST and Ateneo are both Catholic school, so let’s put it by title. UST is the Royal, Pontifical and Catholic University of the Philippines. Go figure. Ahahahaha!
Well, anyway, the day before, a classmate passed a message to me saying that we should pray for the upcoming finals game to all Dominican saints. I told her we shouldn’t discriminate. We should pray to all the saints. Even the Jesuits one..Harharhar!
So, forgive me if I’m rambling at the start of the day. I just can’t get over the fact that after almost a decade, UST won again. And the fact that Roselle and I were shouting and cheering and praying, even if we were not in Araneta. Or even if we were not watching in front of a television set.
Just the same, once a Thomasian, always a Thomasian.
Go USTe!
We really had an eagle for dinner. Or McChicken for that matter.
Good bye to Anime Eyes
I know we broke up two years ago. But in some ways, we remained friends. Anime eyes. I’m sure most of you remembered him. It took me more than a year to finally let go of him and erase all his messages from my phone.
Actually, I even saw him a month ago in MRT. I even tried calling him last June 17th, his birthday. I wasn’t able to talk to him. Maybe, it was better that way. Why all of a sudden am I devoting another entry to him?
For the simple reason that any hope of reconciliation has been smashed. Hard. He has a wife now. He got her pregnant. I’m just not sure if they’re married. Oh well, who cares?
Apparently, I did. It was a shocker when my friend back in high school blurted it out casually. She thought I knew. They all thought I knew. Or, they didn’t tell me for fear of the hurt they will see.
I laughed a lot when I heard it. I think my friend can hear a faint of bitterness in me. My sister did see the bitterness. I had the time to process the information, by the time I told her. I wasn’t able to hide the pain. I felt it. But still, I was thankful that at least, he found someone who understands and love him. It wouldn’t have worked out with the two of us, anyhow. I knew that. He knew that. Jm knew that (hehehe).
He wasn’t the love of my life. But he was close. Almost there, but not quite. Randell (oh yes, him), still holds the top spot. But he, too, was gone. It was another painful episode, but I’ll write about it some other time.
It seems that they are all moving on and I’m left clinging, holding on to the could’ve beens…Maybe, you can’t have it all. I have a nice job now, with fair enough salary, and chance to travel. I’m doing good in my Masteral classes. I gained new friends, and keeping the old ones (I treasure them as much). But the one thing that I want to have, I can’t.
I’ll reiterate again. I don’t want to get married, yet. Not in three to five years. But I missed having someone to love. I know, I sounded pathetic. But Whaddaheck? I want what Rach, Rhoda Pam and Safety have…lasting and stable relationships. I’ve been out in the playing field for so long. Far too long.
Ay, This is what happens when you don’t have anything to do. Wallow in self-pity. I’m counting my blessings all right. I’m thankful of what I have.
But when I hear news like this. I just can’t help but feel sorry for me. Even if I don’t have to be.
closure
******, This isn’t a hate mail. We’re too old for that. Rather, this is the proper way to say goodbye, as oppose to your abrupt way of cutting me off your life. Out of all the people I’ve met and became friends with, I didn’t expect that you would do this to me. Gawd,it’s been six years. Granted that it’s an on and off friendship, the mutual respect should have been there. It’s so easy to tell me that you don’t want to be friends anymore. You can even do it through a text message. But no, you have to give me the silent treatment, like all those other typical men I’ve known. Guess you’re one of them. I should have let you be. But if you really knew me, you know that I speak what’s on my mind. And I need closure. This is the classic case of expecting too much from the person and getting the shock of your life when that person falls short from that expectation. I really thought we were friends. I guess you really didn’t treat me as one, because now, we’re not anymore. I wanted so many things to tell you, but it would only widen the gap. So I’d keep it to myself. Now, I would like to tell you that I’m deleting you off my friendster list. For the simple reason that we’re not friends anymore. If you have done it before I did, it would be okay. It saves me the trouble. But then again, it’s what I’m expecting. I’m not in love with you anymore. I admitted as much. But I loved you dearly as a friend and this hurts me. The betrayal of our friendship tops that time when you told me that all you think of me is someone you can be friends with. That broke my heart and my ego too. But, hell, that’s life. I won’t do it again. In the future maybe? This may sound final, but I have to do this so that I may forgive and forget, even if you didn’t say sorry. So, goodbye and God bless. charmed shaman
new adventures
I have a new job now. Approaching my third week. One thing for sure, it involves a lot of reading and editing. No, more of writing. And techie whatnots...
I’m pursuing my post grad studies now, as expected, it’s not as easy, it almost coincided with my first week of work, so I went through major adjustments, people.
Plus experiencing the loss of a formerly good friend. He didn’t die. I didn’t even wish that he did. But he broke my heart. Thrice. Aaargh. I refuse to be a victim.
I’ll tell the whole story next time, when I’m not in a hurry. As you see, I’m in the office, and I can only peak to these sites. I’m not complaining though. This is way better than my former work anyhow.
Goodbye for now…
